


finding you

by lorene



Series: you [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 07:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8195837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorene/pseuds/lorene
Summary: It’s not like it was too soon to be talking about that kind of stuff- at all but Nate had mentioned so nonchalantly, so light and airy like it was words being thrown around with no meaning. The first time the I love you’s came out didn't scare him nearly as much as this.Mikey's also pretty sure he nodded his head like yeah we should move in together, great idea because ever since that day, Nate had been making these casually terrifying comments like “I don't like the TV here, can we put it over here?” or “I hope you know there's not going to be enough room for both of our shoes in the closet when I move in.” or his personal favorite, “We should get a dog.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i got a pretty good response to my last fic, and since Mikey and Nate's relationship was an important part of the story, I thought I'd turn it into a three part series? 
> 
> so the last part will be a look into Dylan and Mitch's deal and yeah. i REALLY ended up loving this and it only took me like three days to write it.
> 
> PLEASE ENJOY!!
> 
> http://mikeys-mcloud.tumblr.com/

“ _Y’know, your roof might not be the safest place for us to stargaze_.” Mikey said warily, and turned his head to look at Nathan, who was laying back on his elbows with his head tilted back, staring up at the sky.

  
“You're fine.” he assured, without looking away and laid back completely flat now, folding his hands on top of his stomach.

  
Mikey wasn't sure. It’s not like they were up super high or anything but heights made him nervous and when he was nervous, he tended to get clumsy. Clumsy; meaning the chances of him falling off the roof and breaking his arm were soaring.

  
Nathan had always told him it was told cute, Mikey had to remind him injuries _weren't cute_.

  
This was was a sort of rare for them, they didn't do this a lot. Like they didn't do _date nights_ a lot. But when they went out to lunch with Dylan a couple days ago, he wouldn't shut up this movie he and Mitch went to see the night before where the two main characters who start off hating each other end up confessing their love for each other under the moon and stars about how stargazing was one of the truly most romantic things you can do with someone you love. He called it “ _an under appreciated classically romantic venture_ ”, to which Mikey had to ponder on for a while because he wasn't sure what that even meant.

  
Anyway, Nate had gotten starry eyed (literally) and gave him an excited nudge with his elbow that hinted they were going to do this under appreciated classically romantic shit. And well, he wasn't going to tell him _no_.

  
He did, however slap Dylan upside the head when Nate wasn't looking because Dylan was the type of person to ruin everything.

  
Mikey shivered in his hoodie.The sky was nothing special tonight, honestly. It was freezing and all there was too look at was the wide stretch of indigo that kinda freaked him out when he stared too long. No stars, no moon, just a plain night sky and the occasional plane flying by.

  
This wasn't _romantic_ like they portrayed in the movies.

  
Nate banged his knee into Mikey’s shoulder a couple of times until Mikey caught his knee, tucking it under his arm to make it stop.

  
“C’mere,” Nate whined as he tugged on Mikey’s sleeve. “Lie down with me.”

  
Using his knee for some leverage, Mikey scooted up so that he was level to him and leaned down. “Jus- don't pretend to push me off again, that wasn't funny.”

  
“Relax. M’not gonna do anything.” Nathan said. Despite the night breeze, he was warming up in a pleasant way now that he was cuddled into Nate’s side.

  
Mikey threw an arm over his waist, glancing up at him and the way Nate’s eyes were intensely searching for something to look at or point out made him bite his lip to hold back a grin. Instead, he buried his face in the space where his neck met the curve of his shoulder and everything was quiet for a few moments. “So is this everything you imagined? Are you going to confess your undying love to me now?”

  
He could feel Nate roll his eyes slightly, and drawled out a small, “ _Mikeeey_.”  
  
“What? I wanna know.”

  
It went back to being quiet for a while and Mikey was keeping himself occupied by sneaking his hand up Nate’s sleeve to feel the goosebumps that arose on his arm when he let out an excited gasp, tearing his arm away to point towards the sky, “Is that a- oh wait never mind that's just another plane.”

  
Mikey laugh was cut short by an uncontrollable shiver that made his teeth chatter a bit. He sat back up, bringing his knees up to his chest. “Nate, it’s getting _really_ cold.”

  
Nate was pointedly not shivering with his whisper thin a long sleeve. “You have a sweater on.” he countered, still pulling on his sleeve. Mikey's could tell that he was just as cold as him by how red his nose was, it was cute.

  
He leaned in to hover over him, blocking Nate’s view of- what he thought was a _pretty boring_ sky. “Are you looking for a shooting star to make a wish upon?”

  
Nathan made a noise in the back of his throat, placing a hand on Mikey’s cheek only to try shoving his face away. “Don’t you just want to talk all night about how _beautiful_ the stars are and how the universe as a whole is just _so amazing_?” Mikey smirked, another shiver running through his body and this time all the way down to his bones. “Seriously though, I don't want us to get hypothermia.”

  
“Well then _you_ can go back inside.” Nathan suggested, but he was wearing a soft smile on his lips. If he looked hard enough, he swore he could slowly see Nate’s lips turning blue.

  
“I love you and all but there's literally nothing to look at. Come on, let’s go heat up some leftovers and- we could just watch something about space and stars?” He was totally being whiny and nagging now but, _shamelessly_.

  
Nathan laid there for another second, looking like he was weighing the pros and cons of each option before nodding once, standing up.

  
Mikey tried not to feel too bad for cutting this short but his toes were numb and Nathan caught colds easily so really, he was just trying to be a good boyfriend, right?

  
He got up on his knees, reaching for Nathan's hand. “Are you going to help me down, sweetie?”

  
“Aww, you never call me that.” Nate cooed with a silly grin and they carefully climbed their way back down the sketchy ladder they’d used to get up.

  
Nate was currently living with his older sister and her boyfriend who were out of town for the weekend, which meant they had the house to themselves. Usually, they would hang out at Mikey’s place but ever since Connor sort of moved in after his and Jack’s “breakup”, it had gotten a little awkward to be there all the time.

  
Especially because they were so used to being able to just do _what_ they wanted, _when_ they wanted, _where_ they wanted and now had to remember that a certain someone- _who, in Mikey’s defense had really quiet footsteps okay?_ \- was now also sharing the space.

  
Not even a few days ago, Connor had walked in on them (for what seemed like the umpteenth time) making out pretty heavily up against the kitchen counter. It's not like there was even _intent_ on actually having sex in the kitchen or anything, but at the same time, it’s not like Mikey wasn't getting ready to stick his hand down Nathan's pants.

  
But it wasn't even his fault- Nathan had started it and then just made a joke about Connor being a total boner killer while Mikey couldn't have pushed him away any quicker than he did, his entire face feeling like it was on fire.

  
He kinda wanted to die right then and there because there wasn't anything more uncomfortable than being caught trying to get it on. And to make it worse, Connor just fumbled out an apology with his own blush then told them he could _clear out for a while if they wanted_.

  
It's not like Mikey's just gonna ask him to leave for a while so they could _do it_ and while Connor _knows_.

  
He could barely make eye contact with Connor for the next three days because he felt so awkward about it and Nate just told him he was overreacting.

  
But anyways, he was really glad they had the house to themselves tonight.

  
It was considerably warmer inside, which he was grateful for. He immediately shrugged his hoodie off, hurrying into Nate’s room to throw it in there and flinged off his shoes while he was at it.

  
He came back to find Nate, still feeling his way through the mostly dark room to find a light switch. “I can't believe there were no stars out tonight, like I'm so disappointed.”

  
“Aww, I'm sorry.” Mikey said. Nate had been so psyched about the idea of them stargazing together and even if _he wasn't_ , he didn't want Nathan to be like...sad about it.

  
A mellow light suddenly filled the entryway they were standing still standing around and it was just enough for them to see their way into the kitchen.

  
Mikey hoisted himself up on the counter and watched as Nathan sifted through the fridge. “I just wanted it to be romantic- _classically romantic_.”

  
Mikey was really going to kill Dylan.

  
He played with the salt and pepper shakers sitting to his right and sighed out, “But it was _romantic_.” Maybe not classically romantic- which he couldn't help but offhandedly wonder what lame Pinterest board Dylan followed named that.

  
Nathan muttered something incomprehensible as he took out the chicken parm they had for lunch and held it out for Mikey to take. “Not really, ‘sides you were making fun of it the whole time.” he said with a shrug.

  
He had such a glum look on his face that was so sincere, Mikey couldn't help but snicker at him. The ridiculously enormous amount of adoration he had for him was starting to bubble up in his stomach.

  
“Yeah but I wasn't making fun of you.” Mikey told him, raising his eyebrows pointedly then for an extra measure, he added, “It’ll be better next time.”

  
He practically could feel Nate’s glee radiating off him from over here, “Next time, huh Mike? So you would do it again just for me?” He was smiling wide, his dimples on full display now.

  
“I mean…” Mikey started, and before he could get anything else out he was being cornered, so that his back was flush against Nate’s front.

  
“You’re so _sweet_.” Nathan said, then pressed a wet kiss to the side of his neck, and Mikey yelped a little when it turned into a not so nice bite.

  
***

  
One thing Mikey knows for sure is that Nathan sure did have a lot of patience.

  
More patience than he could _ever possibly have_ and it made him wonder- what he did to have someone so amazing who puts up with him like this. He always kinda wondered, just how far he could get without testing said patience though, he never thought he would actually get there.

  
Well-

  
It’s been a few months now since Connor’s moved in with him and it's also been a few months now since Nathan sort of hinted they should move in together.

  
Actually, he's pretty sure Nate _told him_ that he's moving in. Honestly, that day was a blur now that he really thought about it.

  
He wasn't even really sure what they were talking about that made Nathan say such a thing because the whole debacle sent Mikey into a straight up daze for the rest of the day. Although it shouldn't have- really.

  
It’s not like it was too soon to be talking about that kind of stuff- at all but Nate had mentioned so nonchalantly, so light and airy like it was words being thrown around with no meaning. The first time the _I love you’s_ came out didn't scare him nearly as much as this.

  
Mikey's also pretty sure he nodded his head like _yeah we should move in together_ , _great_ _idea_ because ever since that day, Nate had been making these casually terrifying comments like “ _I don't like the TV here, can we put it over here?_ ” or “ _I hope you know there's not going to be enough room for both of our shoes in the closet when I move in._ ” or his personal favorite, “ _We should get a dog_.”

  
That being said; the day Connor moved in, he _specifically_ remembers him telling Mikey that he wasn't sure how long he would be here and if that was okay because he didn't want to get in the way of anything.

  
He remembers seeing several apartment listings on Connor's laptop screen once, when he poked his head in to ask Connor something but it's been months now and it was terrible for Mikey to be secretly happy that he either hadn't found a place yet or just stopped looking.

  
A sliver of that was because Connor was really easy to live with so far and was _really good_ about keeping the place clean- that was super important. But it was mostly because if Nathan wanted to move in, it definitely was not going to be while Connor was still living there.

 

  
Listen- Mikey might have some commitment issues.

  
It wasn't like- it wasn't like he didn't want to. It's just that he didn't feel like this was something they _needed_ to do.

  
It's not like their relationship was depending on it or anything. They were doing just fine, they've been able to survive not living together for the past three and a half years so why mess something so good up by _being domestic_? He’s seen first hand of what happens to couples when they start doing shit like that, it's when the getting sick of each other, sleeping on the couch, arguing over whose turn it is to wash the dishes starts.

  
And now he was dealing with that panicky tight feeling in his chest that he got whenever he was too anxious or stressed out.

  
More specifically, whenever Nathan was _making him_ too anxious or doing something to stress him out.

  
You see- Sunday's were meant to be taken slow. Sunday’s were meant for lazy, meaningless conversation while watching whatever game was on and for full stomachs along with one too many naps that were supposed to be spaced out during the afternoon. That was what Sunday's were all about.

  
What Mikey’s favorite day of the week was not meant for was unnecessary interrogation on the innocent- _innocent_ meaning Connor, really he was harmless.

  
Nate was really only supposed to stop by for a couple of minutes to drop off a pair of shorts that Mikey left at his sister's house last weekend, but then of course that's Connor decided to venture out of his room and asked if he was staying.

  
“Yeah man, games on.” Is what Nathan told him and then turned back to Mikey, “You can make us some sandwiches.”

  
“ _Rude_.” Mikey said, and looked down at the shorts that now sat on the floor because Nate had pretty much threw them at his face.

  
Connor looked between them awkwardly, and pointedly stepped over the shorts. “I can make my own.”

  
Mikey wanted to say something about _stop being so nice_ but that just wasn't Connor.

  
“Make yourself useful, you know.” Nathan said again, with a bit of a sigh.

  
***

  
Mikey doesn't get really annoyed easily. He likes to think of himself as a pretty levelheaded person- but what with his normal Sunday plans already being interrupted and everything, he was feeling a little like anyone just breathing would set him off.

  
It was bottom of the 7th, the Blue Jays were up by 3 against the Red Sox and normally he wasn't the one to be terribly interested in baseball but it was hard to even try to enjoy it because of how distracting Connor was being on the phone.

  
And Mikey really didn't think he’d end up regretting pulling out a couch cushion and throwing it at Connor, telling him to ‘ _just invite him over already_ ’.

  
It’s not like Connor would have asked anyways, he still had a weird thing about ‘ _overstepping his boundaries_ ’- which was hilarious, seeing as how many times he’s caught him and Nate _doing things_ now. Or trying to, rather. After about the fifth time it happened, Mikey put a halt to any making out or sex related activities while Connor was within a five mile radius, and for the most part Nate had obliged; except for that one time last week of course.

  
But anyways, Jack was now coming over for dinner, which was totally fine but here is the reason why Mikey regretted it: Nathan started to ask questions.

  
“How’s the apartment search going? Anything good?”

  
Connor sighed, running his hand through his hair leaving it all ruffled and messed up in the front. “Oh. It’s going...everything in my budget seems to either be too far away or just suspicious looking.”

  
Nathan nodded slowly, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his kneecaps. “Jack’s still living in the same place right?”

  
“Uh yeah? What, you thought he like moved or something?” Connor asked but was ignored when Nathan pressed on.

  
“So you really like living here with Mike, huh?”

  
This is when Mikey’s head snapped up from his phone cause he knew exactly what was going on here.

  
_Goddamnit_.

  
Connor tore his eyes away from the game, now looking at him. “Sure...it’s cool. Why?”

  
Nate just shrugged a little too casually, focusing his own eyes back on the screen. “I just didn't- just asking…” and after a few seconds, he tapped Mikey on the knee, “Did you ever tell hi-”

  
There were a couple of short knocks at the door, and Mikey took that chance to jump right up from the couch, “I’LL GET IT!”

  
The intelligible shout through the door was the best thing Mikey’s ever heard and he has never been more glad to see Jack Eichel in his entire life.

  
“Move outta the way, McLeod,” Jack directed, pushing his aside. “What?” he asked with a frown.

  
Mikey breathed out a laugh, he knew he was smiling a little weird now. “Good timing, Eichel. Good timing.”

  
Jack gave him a quizzed look, “Well yeah...I'm like the best person.”

  
Mikey closed the door very slowly and wondered if he should bring out alcohol to distract Nathan from anymore interrogation but then again, that might make it worse.

  
“5-2 Jays? What the fuck, Boston?” Jack exclaimed angrily, throwing his hands up in the air and then glaring back at Connor. “Well I hope you’re happy.”

  
Connor just laughed, and stood up to give him a quick kiss, “Hi to you too.”

  
“Leave it up to the American to be a sore loser.” Nathan joked, any weirdness that was radiating off of him seemed to had disappeared.

  
Jack’s face twisted into a grimace, “It's not my fault I hate all Canadian teams.”

  
“You do not,” Connor chirped in. He rolled his eyes fondly and ducked in to give Jack another kiss. “What happened to ‘ _I guess the Raptors aren't so bad_ ’ ?” Jack made a disapproving sound.

  
All was good, after that and it wasn't until pizza was ordered, when Nate started in again.

  
He knew part of why Nathan was egging on was because he knew Connor wasn't going to confront him about it. Another reason was because Nathan knew Mikey wouldn't say anything about it in front of their friends and make a big deal about it.

  
“So when are you guys moving back in together?” Nathan gestured between Connor and Jack, who were sitting directly across from him.

  
Mikey’s eyes darted to Connor who was now grinning, but uncomfortably like he was in pain or something. Probably trying to figure out if Nate was joking or not.

  
“Uhh,” Connor glanced at Jack, “We’ve decided that we don't want to rush into anything again, so we’re not like- I don't think I'm moving in again anytime soon.”

  
Jack nodded frantically, “Yeah. It's been good for us to be taking it slow and not spending every single minute of the day together like we used to. Not-” he turned to Connor, “Not that I don't love being with you all the time.”

  
“I know. I love being with you all the time too,” Connor laughed. His face was a little red, and Mikey thought that was kind of cute, how they still were like that with each other. Connor had his arm around the back of Jack's chair, “I just want to make sure we do it right time, that's all.”

  
_See_ , Mikey thought, _it’s good not to be around each other too much_.

  
“Hmm.” That seemed to fly right over Nate’s head, looking like he was waiting to speak. “Okay, no offence Connor but how much longer do you think you’ll be staying here?”

  
“Nate…” Mikey warned, trying his hardest to send brain signals out to tell him to quit it.

  
He knew what Nate was doing- dropping hints to him like this to make sure Mikey knows that _hey this is still a thing_. That anxious feeling was now turning into just plain distress.

  
“Um-” Connor started, sounding thoroughly confused. He cleared his throat loudly, “I haven't talked with Mikey about that yet. I mean, he said it was okay to stay as long as I needed to.”

  
“ _Ohhh_ , he did? That's interesting.” Nathan was now looking at him and Mikey could feel his cheeks hot and burning under Nathan's gaze. “Mike told me something different so that's just really funny.”

  
Everyone was pretty much looking at him, including Jack, who looked extremely lost.

  
“Am I- did I do something…?” Connor’s tone was soft, but almost accusatory at the same time. Like Mikey was _making_ Nate ask these questions, and he almost wanted to apologize.

  
Connor leaned in a little, lowering his voice even though they could all hear him. “Is it because I keep walking in on you guys? Cause I’m sorry, I ca-”

  
“ _Ew_ , you walk in on them?” Jack interjected, throwing his head back to let out an explosive laugh and clapping his hands together a few times. “Connor, why aren't I hearing about this? Wait, wait- who's the top and who's the bottom? I’ve been trying to figure that one out forever now.”

  
_Oh Great. This was just great._

  
Feeling embarrassed and immensely annoyed with Nathan, Mikey abruptly got up from the table, plate in hand walking off towards the sink. He kept quiet and listened to Jack’s maniacal- like laugh and Connor’s poor attempt to shush him.

  
***

  
A half an hour later, Nathan was getting ready to leave, unhurriedly though because Jack had flipped the channel to some documentary about cosmics and apparently he was into that now. Mikey watched him move at a leisurely pace, throwing a long, drawn out “ _bye_ ” to them.

  
“I’ll walk you out.” Mikey announced. He didn't really want to talk to him right now but Nate hasn't even tried talking to him since dinner so that meant Nate was probably mad at him.

  
He decided to just cut to the chase when they got outside, but Nathan beat him to it, spinning around with a huff like he already knew what Mikey was going to say.

  
Mikey shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, waiting for him to start.

  
“Well, let’s hear it.” Nathan shrugged, his tone clipped and short. “I know you're upset.”

  
“I’m upset because you embarrassed me, and you were being rude. Imagine how awkward you made Connor feel with all those stupid questions.”

  
Nate’s eyebrows shot up, “Me asking how much longer he’s going to be living here is stupid? Mikey, you were the one that told me it would only be for a couple of weeks- I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or anything, but it’s been _like five months_.”

  
Okay- that's fair. Mikey had maybe lied about how long Connor would be staying. But that’s because Nathan kept on pressing and pressing, asking why he’d offered in the first place and he couldn't just say “ _Well, I accidently agreed that you should move in but I don't think we should do that, really_.”

  
Instead, he didn't say anything at all. It was kind of chilly out so he shivered to himself, thinking of the night they were stargazing on the roof and how excited Nate was that night, how happy he was when Mikey- who did not do well with heights- had agreed to climb up a ladder on the top of his roof to sit under the nonexistent stars and boring sky with him. _For him_.

  
“Mike,” Nathan said softly, he was standing a little closer now but no so much that they were touching. “Just say it.”

  
Mikey glared when he met his eyes, shifting from one foot to the other, “Say what?”

  
“Tell me you don't want me to move in. That you don't want to take the next step in our relationship, for whatever reason. Because that's obviously how you feel.” Nathan exclaimed.

  
Mikey looked away, off to the side. He didn't say anything for a while, just really wanting this to be over. Nathan shook his head, slowly. “Dude, _seriously_? Like your not even going to try?”

  
“Nate- I...” he trailed off and let it hang there for a few seconds but didn't get to finish because Nate was already walking back to his car.

 

  
Mikey was having trouble sleeping that night. Nate wasn't texting him back, and he didn't answer his phone when he tried to call earlier. He was beginning to really feel like an asshole now.

  
Before going to bed, he had sent a text saying ‘ **im sorry** ’ then another one right after that ‘ **if you let me, i can explain myself...** ’ and when he didn't hear back right away, he sent one last one saying ‘ **hope you got home safe, goodnight, i love u.** ’

  
So now he laid in bed, listening to the sound of the TV still playing out in the living room. Connor was probably still up, he knew better than to leave it on when he wasn't watching it.

  
Mikey thought about what would happen if he did move the TV into the corner that Nathan mentioned before.

  
Surely the annoying glare on the screen from the window wouldn't be there anymore, and it might open up the room a little more, but he couldn't think of any reason not to other than _that's just where the TV was_.

  
He then turned on his cheek so he could look at the closet. It wasn't a huge closet but he had a lot of shoes. That was the thing, there wasn't any room for anyone else's shoes. Maybe there were more than one pair that he didn't exactly wear too often and maybe there were some shoes he didn't even fit into anymore and maybe it wouldn't hurt to throw some pairs out.

  
His heart jumped a beat when he couldn't think of what else would happen with all that open space in the closet other than _that’s just where Nate’s shoes would go_.

  
Mikey sighed and flipped over on his stomach, shoving an arm under his pillow. Dogs were pretty cool, too.

  
***

  
The next morning when Mikey came out to the kitchen, Connor was already awake and frying an egg.

  
“Hey.” he greeted. His hair was damp like he just got out of the shower. Mikey grumbled back a ‘ _morning_ ’. He noticed Connor was wearing the same navy blue long sleeve that Jack was wearing yesterday.

  
He pointed a thumb back towards the bedrooms, “Jack still here?”

  
“Oh, yeah. He spent the night, I didn't think you’d mind. Sorry.” Connor turned a little red, furrowing his eyebrows together. “He's never slept here before. Usually I'm always spending the night at his place.”

  
Mikey shook his head, “Yeah man, I don't care if he stays over. Y’know, just asking.”

  
Connor smiled at him, a little sheepish and went back to his cooking. “ _Just asking_. There's been a lot of that lately, no?”

  
That caught him a little off guard, and he just laughed a little. He wasn't sure if he should apologize or if it was really that big a deal to Connor.

  
Mikey poured himself some coffee, and thought for a moment. “Hey, can I ask you a personal question? I mean, like about you guys.”

  
Connor grabbed a plate from the cupboard, looking at him with all too wide eyes. “Oh? Uh-” He glanced at the bathroom door, then back at him, “Sure go ahead.”

  
Mikey didn't mean to burn his tongue, he didn't realize the coffee was literally just made. Wincing slightly, he took a deep breathe, “Well I remember you once saying that after you and Jack moved in together, that's when it got like- bad? I guess I'm just wondering if you could go back, would you have not done it?

  
Connor looked a little taken aback at first, and frowned down at the now greasy pan. “I think most of the issues we were having were _well_ there even before we moved in together.” He let out an half hearted laugh, “And we both thought that living together would make everything better and solve all our problems. I guess it kinda did temporarily but-” Connor paused to glance at the bathroom door again. “I don't really want to get into it all now because you know…”

  
Mikey nodded, scratching the back of his neck. He didn't really want Connor to get into it right now either, whatever they were going through at the time wasn't _his_ business.

  
“I guess if I could go back, I would make sure our issues were resolved before living together. Yeah, that would have been a lot easier.” Connor said, while staring at something on the dirty pan he was still holding. “That’s...that’s what we're doing right now, right? Jack and I. We both want to be together but right now- where we’re at, it's really good.”

  
Leaning against the counter, Mikey continued sipping on his coffee. “Of course, you guys belong together. Always have.”

  
Connor smiled at that, “I know. If there's anyone besides us that like… ‘ _belong together_ ’ I guess, it's you and Nate. You guys don't even have to try.” Mikey's heart pulled tightly, and his own grin faltered a bit but Connor didn't notice anything, just finally placed the pan in the sink. “And let’s face it- Dylan and Mitch were never supposed to end up together. They used to _hate_ each other. Remember those days?”

  
“You know what hasn't changed? The multiple texts I get from each of them complaining about something the other did on the daily.” Mikey commented.

  
Connor chuckled, pulling his sleeves that were bunched up back down. “Oh did you want some eggs or?”

  
Mikey shook his head, “I'm good. So...did it change anything? Not counting the breaking up stuff. But just in general, did living together really fuck everything up?”

  
“Mmm, _look_ \- it wasn't all bad. I loved having the comfort and security of living with him. It made me feel...safe and really grown up. But maybe Dylan’s a better person to ask about all this.” Connor said. “I'm also just going to say there's nothing better than going to sleep and waking up every single day with the person you love. That's the best part.”

 

  
Before he could stop himself, Mikey blurted out, “I think- me and Nate are going to live together. Soon.”

  
He wasn't planning on saying that- at all. Or maybe he was, he wasn't sure but now that it was actually said out loud, it felt like it was set in stone. Suddenly, Nate was _really_ moving in. Maybe this conversation was all he needed to feel ready for this.

  
Connor was smiling so wide now, Mikey opened his mouth to protest this but was cut off, “So _that's_ what this was all about. That certainly explains yesterday too, jeez. Well that will be cool, all three of us living here.”

  
Then look on Mikey’s face must have given it away because after a second, Connor’s excited expression dropped. “Oh- I guess that means you need me to move out then?”

  
“It's just...I don't want you to have to leave, Connor. I really liked having yo-” Mikey babbled on, refilling his coffee mug. He really did feel bad, Connor _was_ a good roommate. If he had it his way, the three of them would live together, that way everyone was happy but- he needed to do this.

  
“Mikey, it’s cool. I get it, trust me.” Connor was still smiling at him, “I’ll miss it here though.”

  
Still, he couldn't help but feel like he was like kicking out his _mom_ or something.

  
“Dude, I'm going to miss _you_ here. Do you realize I'm going from having a considerate roommate who always cleans up after himself and buys more milk when he finished it all to _Nathan_? Who has never not once done laundry in his entire life and who only changes his sheets once every four months?”

  
“Hey, that's your boy.” Connor said, and there was the sound door opening up from down the hall so Jack must be out now. “You two are going to be just fine, Mikey. I really believe that.”

  
***

  
Somehow, he felt a little different. He was going to be living with his boyfriend now, like they were partners or something. _Weird_. He’s only ever lived with his family up until he was nineteen, then he moved out and lived alone all this time. Except for the last six or so months with Connor, which still felt like living with a brother or something so it wasn't anything different.

  
He knew Connor wouldn't have been upset, but he didn't want to feel like he was kicking him out...even though he kinda was.

  
Instead of thinking too hard about that, Mikey found himself spending the entire day cleaning, _like really cleaning_. Also, he did a little rearranging.

  
When he was finished, he took a second to stand back, letting it sink in. The TV was in a new spot, his closet space had opened up immensely and the world _didn't_ end. It felt nice. Nate didn't respond to the texts he sent last night, but seemed to be fine today because he’d gotten a text full of moon and earth emojis then a link to a galaxy print hoodie that said ‘ **how soon can you buy this for me???’**

  
Without hesitating, Mikey gladly spent sixty dollars on some random hoodie that was various shades of pink, blue and purple and wasn't even that cool. He screenshotted the order confirmation email and two minutes later, Nate was calling him.

  
“You actually bought that? That was way too expensive!”

  
“Didn't you want it?” Mikey asked. Even after all this time they've been together, it was sometimes hard to tell if Nate was joking or not, especially over text message.

  
“Yeah...but I didn't think you’d actually buy it for me just like that. Don't think this means you can cheap out on my birthday though.”

  
Mikey had the urge to laugh uncontrollably because of how happy he suddenly felt, so he had to bite his lip to contain it. It’s just- he was _so lucky_.

  
Here he was, with his dumb commitment issues Nate was just always there, still with him for some reason. “Are you busy?”

  
There was a pause, “No,” Nathan said carefully. “But I don't want to talk yet.”

  
“You're talking to me right now.” he pointed out.

  
“Yeah okay but I don't want to see you in person yet. I'm not going to act like everything's fine because it's not, I'm still upset with you.”

  
Mikey nervously tapped his foot, it's okay if Nate was still mad at him, he deserves it. “I know, I'm sorry babe. I- look we don't have to talk about anything, you don't even have to look at me but can you just come over? Please.”

  
Nate stalled, making a humming noise like he was considering it. “Hey it’s raining! Oh no, Mike it’s raining. Do the stars and shit still come out at night if it’s raining? Does that have an affect?”

  
“I don't know, I’m sure they do.” Mikey sighed. He didn't care if he literally had to beg at this point, he just really couldn't stand Nate being mad at him. “ _Please_ , Nathan. I really need you to come over.”

  
There was a pause on the line, he could still sense the hesitation from Nate. “Are you hungry, do you want me to bring food? Something hot though because it's cold.”

  
***

  
Mikey was beginning to feel that anxious tight feeling in his chest, but this time not for the usual reasons. He literally felt like he couldn't wait to see Nathan, his heart was practically about to burst out of his chest out of fondness and his palms were getting sweaty. He vaguely recalled having the same exact feeling the first time they kissed.

  
He was staring at the neatly lined up shoes in his closet, obsessively straightening and smoothing them out when he heard the front door open. “I'm here!”

  
With shaky knees, he stood up and walked out to the living room where Nate was setting down the paper bag he was holding. There were raindrops spots on his jacket and he shifted his eyes a little nervously before making eye contact with Mikey.

  
“Hey-” Mikey didn't hear what else he was going to say because it took only three steps to reach him and pull him in for a kiss that had Nate had to steady himself for. He tasted of something like apple cider or something apple-y and all Mikey wanted was more of it.

  
He ran his hands through the dry ends of Nate’s hair that grew too fast, it was starting to get a little long again. Mikey broke the kiss so he could look at him. Nate was biting his lip like he was trying not to smile, and he ran his hand down Mikey’s arm so he could tangle their hands together.

  
Mikey ran his hand over Nate’s broad shoulders, peeling his jacket off at the same time. When Nate tried to lean in again for a kiss, he just grinned and slowly sank to his knees without breaking eye contact.

  
He was really expecting that to be sexy but Nathan just laughed at him, and patted the top of his head. “What are you doing down there?”

  
“Dude, I’m tryin to blow you.” Mikey told him, gesturing his hands towards his crotch.

  
“Okay, but here?” Nate looked around the living room, wildly, like it was that crazy of a place to have sex. “Where’s Connor?”

  
Mikey rolled his eyes, sitting back on his toes. Leave it up to Nathan to ruin the moment. “He’s at the store, he won't be back until later. Nate, this was supposed to be sexy…”

  
“You are sexy, just- get up, come on.” Nate laughed and hauled Mikey up from under his arms. Taking his hand, he led them into Mikey’s room. “If I’m really going to get it for the first time in months, I don't want you to have to suffer from rug burn.”

  
He sat down on the bed and pulled on the back of Mikey’s neck down so he had to bend to kiss him. “Okay, now you can blow me.” he said, scooting up on the bed to lie down.

  
Mikey rolled his eyes, but still scooted up to tug his pants down a little and crawled up to continue kissing him. He had the sudden urge to burst out laughing just because of how _ridiculous_ Nathan could be. Right now, he’s just glad Nate didn't seem too upset with him as he thought he would be. “I’m sorry.” Mikey whispered, in between a breath.

  
Nate sighed against his lips, “I thought we weren't talking about it.”

  
Mikey started pressing small kisses down his neck, until he got to the collar of his t-shirt, then he skipped down to finished unzipping his pants. “I’m also sorry that it’s been awhile since I did this.” With that, he pulled down Nathan’s briefs and lowered his mouth onto his cock.

  
The gasps and stuttering breaths of air above him only reminded him of how much of a douche he’s been lately. Withholding blowjobs was just cruel, but he pushed that out of his mind, trying to just make Nate feel good. He sucked down for a few more seconds before sinking down even further this time, he doesn't deepthroat very often so he had to really buckle down and focus on not gagging.

  
Nathan inhaled in sharply, his hands up to hold him there for a second as his breath quickened. Mikey could tell he wasn't going to last long, so he wrapped his hand around what he couldn't swallow and tried to get him off more efficiently. There was a bit of drool leaking out of the corner of his mouth as he bobbed his head, enjoying Nate’s touch where ran his over his hand over Mikey’s cheek, feeling the outline of his dick in his mouth.

  
He only lasted for a few more minutes before coming with a small shout, without warning so it took Mikey by surprise but that was fine because it was Nate.

  
“Jesus Christ, babe…” he whined out, throwing an arm over his eyes as if to shield himself from the light. So dramatic.

  
Mikey scooted back up to give him a sloppy, open mouthed kiss that Nate was completely relaxed to. He swung a leg over so that he was sitting in Nate’s lap, and ran his clean hand through his hair. “That good?”

  
Nate laughed, loose and happy. “D’you want me too…?” He palmed over the front of Mikey’s sweats, where he was already hard just from sucking Nate off. Mikey shook his head, grinning wide and reached down so that he could start jerking himself off. Nate always got lazy after he came so he just sat there, watching Mikey get himself off as he kissed and sucked bites on his shoulder. It really didn't take long for Mikey to finish, slumping down on Nate as they came down from the high.

  
Feeling nothing but content, Mikey was basking in the warmth that always radiated off Nathan and thinking about how it always put him at ease when Nate let out a long sigh, “So what was that for?”

  
Mikey turned his head to look up at him, “Cause I wanted to. His voice came out scratchy and rough, making him clear his throat a few times. “And because I love you.”

  
“Hmm, well thanks.” Nate smiled and Mikey dug his thumb into his right dimple that was so deep, he thought about how dumb his dimples always were and leaned in once more for a gentle kiss.

  
“I want you to move in.”

  
Nate actually stared at him for a moment, with wide eyes then looked away, “Mikey-”

  
He tangled both of their hands together tightly, ducking his head to rest his forehead on his collarbone. “No, I- I want you to, I moved the TV and my- my shoes are gone and there’s so much space for you here and I told Connor you were supposed to live here now and-”

  
“You got rid of all your shoes?” Nathan asked, disbelieving and when Mikey nodded his head over to the open closet door, Nate sat up a little to look and laughed out loud. The sound was so lovely it shot through Mikey like a lightning bolt ready to kill. “Are you serious, Michael?”

  
He nodded, “Not all of them obviously, but just look around. I made room for your things, Nathan. You could move in today eve-”

  
Nate put a few fingers over his lips, silencing him only for Mikey to just suck his fingers into his mouth playfully and biting down; lightly though- he didn't want to hurt him. “Did you see the TV?”

  
“No, I didn't get a chance to look...you did all that for me?” Nathan asked, his tone suddenly soft and pleased. Mikey nodded, “I want you to move in. I know we’ll be okay.”

  
Nathan rubbed over his back sweetly, clutching him closer. “You thought we wouldn't?”

  
“I just...I just didn't- what if we end up like Connor and Jack? Nate, you’ve seen how that played out. They were miserable….”

  
Nathan frowned at the wall, and cut in. “Yeah, but we’re not _them_. You can't just not want to do certain things that will make our relationship better just because it didn't work out for someone else.”

  
“Well I know that now. I- I’m sorry for having doubts okay? It would just suck if…” he didn't finish that though and instead met Nate’s gaze. “I want you to move in, I really do Nate.” Mikey assured. Even if he didn't feel that way a week ago, he did now and that was all that mattered.

  
“Mikey, we’re not going to end up like Connor and Jack. I wouldn't let that happen, plus me and you are solid. We’ll always be solid.” Nate said, finally looking at him and offering a smile.

  
He pushed Mikey off of him, after tucking them both back in and planting a kiss on his arm. “I can't wait to live here, you know we can stay up all night and do whatever we want?”

  
Mikey chuckled, “Do we not do that already?”

  
“Yeah but we can do it like all the time.” Nate explained as they made their way back to the living room where Mikey presented the new spot the TV was now in with a smile and jittery nerves because this was real now.

  
Nate was satisfied where it sat now and they sat down on the couch to watch another space documentary with the food had was now lukewarm but nothing a microwave couldn't handle. Mikey tucked his feet under Nate’s thigh and watched the glowing delight that surrounded as he rambled on about how cool planets were.

  
Watching him, Mikey didn't think this would get old, not even after they start living together.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> im trying to get better at the like sexy scenes so im sorry if that was painful haha. please let me know if there are any typos and whatnot.


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